It's almost Christmas. That little sentence has a variety of meanings depending on your point of view. Little children, of course, are full of excitement for all of the fun things that are hopefully coming their way. It's a time to stay off of the naughty list. I love the tv commercials this year showing little kids doing things to stay off of the list.

For the little kid's parents it can be a time with conflicting feelings. Hope has them wanting to fulfill the wishes of their little ones which brings a warm, fuzzy feeling to their hearts. But, it can be a time of worry that the money won't be there to make it a reality.

Families that have split up and regrouped with other split up families have emotions running amok throughout the holiday season for both parents and children. The kids seem to better able to adapt to these situations than the parents.

There are many of us without children and/or significant others. Some of them carry with them feelings from childhood. Fond recollections of family activities, the night before Christmas, the tree. But for some they harbor sad feelings that can manifest through the years into depression. We cannot tell by looking at people what feelings and memories they tote around. Some are very good at concealing them and they don't even need a permit. Imagine if you had to go through classes in order to get a Concealed Feeling Permit.

Feelings and memories can be a source of comfort and warmth or source of pain to fester over years and erupt later in life in many ways. We walk down many pathways in life and these are the winds that push us. You may be surrounded by crowds in your life or live a relatively solitary existence. Whichever situation applies you alone are responsible for the path selection. We can't turn around and walk back in order to select a different path. All we can do is move forward on our chosen path and look for a better alternative.

What we can do is look at the people in our world and try to see if they are stuck on a path carrying a burdensome load of memories and feelings and try to find a way to help them with their load. Quite often simply offering to sit and talk over a cup of coffee can have life changing consequences. So, in this Holiday season, however you define it, take time out of your path walking to share a few steps with your brothers and sisters in life. Walk out of your neighborhood and discover the diversity of life.

A Time to Think, Sleep and Shovel Snow

Winter.  The word itself brings up feelings, memories, emotions.  My friend, Dave, is probably getting excited.  I wouldn't be surprised if he has already dug into the closet or hidden recesses of the garage to find his cross country skis and associated gear.  He's more than likely given some thought, while nestled in a big comfy chair, the trips he'll take.  The images have been dancing around in his head, as he nestles in a big comfy chair.  He probably even has some magazines featuring some cross country skiing adventures that he could take, which he has tried to read while fighting the doziness of the oncoming winter in his big comfy chair.  Are you catching my drift here?

Winter is a time of rest, of recharging our batteries, of laying out plans for next year's activities, unless you are Dave.  When I look at winter pictures I get quiet.  I don't get the anxious feelings that autumn brings; there are no leaves demanding to be raked, no sightseeing trips for fall color to be taken, no putting away the trappings of summer like hoses and other tools.

My dogs know the value of rest.  Look at the pictures down the side and you'll see some examples of their expertise.  Tasha has become so proficient she is going to start giving classes in the art........as soon as she wakes up.  But, here's the thing about Tasha and her naps.  If nothing is demanding of her time and attention (squirrels in the yard especially) she naps.  She can appear to be deep in sleep, but at the slightest hint of a walk, going for a ride, or the exclamation of "SQUIRREL", she will be up on her feet in the blink of an eye.

Our brains organize thoughts and memories by association.  How often have we heard a song and, instantly, we were transported through time and space to a special place with a special someone far away and long ago.  Every now and then things will be just so outside and I am once again 14 years old at my Grandmother's house in Adams County.  It is a quiet summer morning, as most were then and there, and I could hear the horses clomping down the street and smell the fragrance of the world.  That was peace as I've never know since.  I was in a protected place, surrounded by people who loved me (and made cherry pies for me), and the world was mine to do with as I pleased.

If it was Saturday, I'd probably go next door and sit on the porch with Shirley.  We'd spend the morning listening to Kasy Kasum play the top 40 tunes of the day.  Music can do so much for us, but it has a special gift of tapping directly into our emotional centers.  What would Christmas be without music?  The 4th of July?  A ball game?  A funeral?  When the dogs and I go walking in the morning we are surrounded by music.  Often it is a very quiet music.  The world is still waking up and not much is going on.  We might hear faint breezes as they ruffle leaves overhead.  The crunchy sound of snow in the winter.  Sometimes I try to walk in a way that is musical (I probably look a little strange to anyone watching).  We are surrounded by music, but all too often we don't hear it.  I think that smelling the roses gets way too much credit.  Listen to the music of the world and it will speak to your heart.

My wife, of 30 years, has a book.  It contains poems that I have written for her over the years.  Here is one of them, I think it ties in here nicely.

Footsteps of time

Echo through the years,

Listening to life’s music

Wondering what we hear.

Measuring each chord,

Timing every beat.

Life moves ever forward,

As the sand beneath our feet.

Move! Move your feet at once,

The sand is all around!

Dance your way to safety,

Up, on higher ground.

The rhythm of time

Is a lover’s  dance,

With echoes faint

And you are mine.

I think this is a good place to stop today.  Take a walk and listen to the world as it speaks and sings to you.  Try not to think of anything, but be open to the thoughts you receive.

Family Matters

Last week I went to a memorial service for a very nice lady.  I knew her for years, or so I thought.  The service was held at the local country club.  It mainly consisted of her family talking and signing about "life with Mom".  At times I felt as though I was treading where I shouldn't.  The closeness of this family and the adoration of her children was moving beyond expression.  I guess that if you sat down and spelled out the ideal relationship between mother and children then this lady's life would be the result.


Whenever I attend memorial services I cannot help but think of what people will say about me when I'm gone, and who will say it.  Part of me wants to just slip away and, perhaps, someone will say, "Where did he go, I haven't seen him in awhile?"  Another part of me says to start putting together my own memorial service.  I've spent my life not letting people in to see who I am.  I don't share my deepest feelings, fears, and hopes.  This is my one shot to let people see who I am, but then why?  If I didn't want anyone to know while I'm alive then why bother now?  I'd really like your help on this one.

This was my Mom.  Her name was Dorothy, but folks just called her Dot.  This is how I remember her, a wave and a smile.  No matter what time of day I'd stop by for a visit I'd get the standard welcome, " Do you want something to eat?"  I think she missed the days of taking care of her family.  Like most mothers, I think she wanted all of her children to stay little.  We are all so cute at those young ages.

My parents were products of the Great Depression.  A lot of their methods in raising us were reactions to that era.  They wanted to protect us. They didn't want us to want, or be hungry.

I inherited a sense of humor from my Dad.  Growing up the way he did, I'm surprised he had any sense of humor at all.  When my Mom wanted a picture with her four sisters and two of them didn't show up my father and uncle agreed to fill in for the missing sisters.  Only the one second from right is still living.  I miss them all and think of them regularly.  They were fun to be around.

My Dad was a fireman.  Firemen always have another occupation, probably because of the work schedule they keep.  He did an assortment of things over the years.  He farmed, delivered fuel oil (and brought home my best friend, Jack, a German Shepard dog), and worked in a hardware store.  I think seeing him in the hardware store fit him best. He could be of service to people and chit chat at the same time.  What he talked about is still a mystery.  I just knew that he liked people.  I have no recollection of my father being mad at anyone other than my older brother who insisted on doing what he wanted regardless of Dad's rules.

Then he bought the shoe repair shop.  This business gave him the opportunity to work with his hands, which he loved, and banter with the assortment of people who wandered into his shop.  I don't think any of us, other than my Mom, realized how much the shop meant to him. His shop was on the cover of Ohio magazine in April, 1990.

That simple business meant a lot to my father on more than one front.  He was needed.  People needed their shoes, handbags, gloves, and belts fixed.  If they could get things taken care of and be entertained at the same time then my Dad was happy.  We were all grown and gone.  When we spend our lives raising and caring for children, we are needed.  When the children grow up and leave, as we know they will, there is a sense of loss.  What is our role now?  What is our life? Who can I cook for today?

We pushed Dad into selling the shop.  We felt that he was pushing himself too hard and he should give it up.  He did.  He was also in the hospital three times over the next 18 months with congestive heart failure.  He would get up in the morning, shuffle out to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and a doughnut, and watch the birds at the feeder while he listened to the weather radio.  The rest of his day was generally spent in his chair with my Mom across the room in her chair, the cat sleeping in its' bed behind her on its' heating pad.

Parents:  Give your children memories they can't outlive.  Create a world that they will look back at and ache because they aren't there anymore.  That doesn't mean making their life pain free.  Make sure that you give them the lessons that will carry them through life; honesty, respect for others, honest work, prudent with the pursestrings, and a sense of humor.

Children:  Help your parents find ways to feel needed as they get older.  Rather than force them to sell their business, find a way for them to stay in it without killing themselves.  If you must get them out of it then help them find something to replace it.  If you want them around to see their grand children and great grandchildren then help them to feel needed.

As I sit here tonight I reflect on all of the things I didn't say, the questions I didn't ask, the things I didn't do and it's too late.  They were the only parents I had and they are gone and I miss them every day.  I focus on remembering the happy moments, like the time I buried the tractor up to its' axle in mud and my Dad didn't yell at me.  I guess he knew I'd already yelled at me for him.

What is Your Security Blanket?

Tasha has this little grey cloth bone.  It used to have a working squeaker, but now it just makes a little popping sound.  It has been laundered about 18,235 times and each time she gets it back she has to roll all over it to get the proper smell back.  She's had it since she was a wee bitty puppy.

When she comes back in the house after being outside for awhile, especially if something upsetting occurred, the first thing she does is find her bone.  She then proceeds to walk all through the house with it in her mouth.  She isn't aggressive about it, but she lets you know that it's hers.  If Tyler picks it up she will run up to him and take it away, not nasty like, but, "That is MINE now give it to me".  As long as she has her bone then all is well with the world.

It got me to thinking.  What is my security bone? Is it a thing, a song, a place, a person, an activity, what?  I think we all have one, perhaps we just haven't given it much thought.  When life throws mud at you where do you go to wash up?  There is an old saying that says, "Music soothes the savage beast".  I know that when I have music on, whether I'm working, driving or just sitting around (that hasn't happened in awhile) I seem to be a bit calmer.

There is a sign on my desk.  I've had it since 1991.  There was a set of messages, but this is  the only one I've ever had in it.  It is about the size of a business card.  It's dark blue with gold lettering.  It is in an acrylic holder, a little block inside a frame that holds the card in place.  The message is, "Action Conquers Fear".  Don't sit there worrying, just do something. I've taken great solace in that little message over the years.  Sometimes we just have to get started to make something happen.

When I was younger I used to sit and contemplate the world.  We had an apple tree on the farm with some branches that formed a perfect cradle for my little body.  I would lay in that tree for hours thinking about whatever it is that 10 year old boys think about.  Other times I'd head off to the wilderness beyond the farm with my German Shepard, Jack.  We had a special place on a ridge by a big old oak tree where we would sit.  That's it, we'd just sit.  Occasionally, I'd make a comment, sometimes in the form of a question and I'd get that cocked head look that dogs give you that seems to say, "Gee, I never thought of it like that before".  Jack was a great conversationalist.  Sometimes, I think back to that time and place and it seems to quite things for a bit.

That security blanket can also be someone special in your life.  It's been a rough day, week, month and you're feeling really worn down.  Then you get one of those special hugs that make everything all right.  You know what I'm talking about.  Sometimes you want one so bad and the time isn't right and it hurts because you really need one.

There are elements of our life that we like to have in place that help with that peace project.  Right now, health insurance has been in the news alot and I think that it has caused people to fret.  What's going to happen?  What will I do?  My premium rates are going up now, what do I do?  These are valid worries.  We're going to see some significant premium increases coming over the next 6 -12 months.  There are things you can do now.  I added a link below to a site where you can get quotes on new types of coverage.  Check it out.  Get in touch with me if you have questions.

Let's go out there and find that people, place, dog, song, acitivity, smell or whatever that brings you peace.  Go there often and seek answers.

Lipstick on a Pit Bull continued

PLEASE READ THE PREVIOUS POST BEFORE THIS ONE.

Let's pick up where we left off.  Everything is ready, the dog's been walked, he's quietly chewing on a rawhide bone, so here we go.  The first thing we have to do is take the bone away from him so we can get the image we're looking for.  He thinks he just came over for a chew, so taking his bone away will come as a surprise.






Of course, now that bone chewing time is over then it must be time for belly rubs, right?  Trying to get a dog upright from this position is lot's of fun for them, frustrating for you.







Ok, what is this thing you're sticking in my face? I must come check it out.  Now, we have a depth of field problem.  We need to back off so that we can get both the nose and the ears in focus.




Ok, now we're getting somewhere.  The focus is better, but we still have the tongue to deal with and we need the face more straight on.  Perhaps if I shift around a bit we can get the shot.







I think we're getting someplace.  The tongue is better, but the head is still not quite right.  He's actually doing pretty well.  What you don't see is how many times he has come over to say, "Hi" and sent me rolling backward.



Yes, this is it.  He's leaning into the shot like he's making a comment.  He is looking right into the lens, the ears are up and I can live with the tongue.  Now, for the lipstick.  As I look at our "lips" from the previous post I realize that the shape of the upper lip doesn't work for Mr. Bones, however I think I have a solution.




Turn the lips upside down and the bottom lip pretty well matches Bonesys' upper lip.  Let's get rid of the part we don't need.


We're going to use Layers in Photoshop to put the two together.  I've found this to be a pretty simple way to combine images.  The first thing you need to do (pretty much trial and error) is get the red lip the right size for Mr. Bones.  Guess at the size, move it over and if it is wrong then delete the layer and try again.  Once you have the size right, move it into position.  Add a Layer Mask.  Adjust the opacity so that you can see where you're going and carefully use the paintbrush in black mode (black reveals, white conceals) to reveal only the red lip.  Once this is done, reset the opacity to 100%.  If you're happy with the results then flatten the image and save the file.  Now you have an image to work with and you can build your poster.

Let me know if you like Mr. Bones' poster.  As you can see from this post, Pit Bulls are very dangerous dogs with no sense of humor.  If you'd like to try this technique I'd suggest you start with something like a beagle.

How To Put Lipstick on a Pit Bull

When I heard the, now famous, lipstick quote during the 2008 election I knew that I had to make a poster of my buddy Mr. Bones who lived across the street from the studio.  Perhaps, if Sarah Palin knew Bonesy she would have picked a different animal to put lipstick on.  I think he would have actually let me put the lipstick on him for this picture, but it is someone else's lip you're seeing.  Want to see what it took to get this shot?

First thing you need to do is make your list.  Let's see, we'll need a pit bull, lips or lipstick, lights, camera, assistant, black backdrop, chew bones, and patience, lots of patience.  I made arrangements with Mr. Bones' Mom for him to come over and play at the studio.  We arranged the date and time and she made sure that he had some exercise prior to his studio time.  I've worked with a lot of dogs and one of the keys to getting cooperation is exercise (for the dog, you'll get plenty during the shoot).

We'd take care of the lips later.  I can see the casting call now, "Model with Pit Bull lips needed", or, "If you have the lips of a Pit Bull we need you".  Fortunately, I had an inventory of images to go through to find the right model.  Won't she be excited when she gets the call, "Congratulations, we have a modeling job for you.  We're going to put your lips on a Pit Bull".  Of course, when you add that it will be for a Sarah Palin poster she doesn't feel quite so bad.  Can't you just hear her boasting at a party, "Those are my lips on that Pit Bull, nooo, I didn't have to kiss him".

The big day was at hand.  The studio was all set, camera batteries charged, lights set up, exposure calculated, backdrop in place.  Let's just hope Bonesy doesn't knock over the lights.  Envisioning the shot you want is a big key in this type of shoot.  Getting the dog to give you that look is another matter entirely.  Sometimes, you have to trick your models to get them to give you the shot you're after.  That's why I had the chew bones.

Dogs as models present some challenges.  Tyler and Tasha are exceptions, of course.  They are professionals and know when it is time for work and what is expected of them.  One of the things that make them so special as models, aside from being exceptionally good looking, is that they know when to keep their tongues in their mouthes.  Dogs pant to control body temperature, so make the place too hot.  Also, chewing on the bones will make them thirsty.  Getting a dog to shut its' mouth can be a bit of a challenge.  Teasing them with a biscuit can help.
Ok, now you're ready.  You've got the dog prepped and calm, now for the right shot.

We'll pick it up here in Part II.  Let me know if you want a copy of the finished poster.  If you want to make sure that you don't miss any posts be sure to sign up as a follower.  Don't forget to check out the advertisers, they change regularly.

Focus

FOCUS, the center of interest, which, in this case, is not in the center mathematically speaking, but is the center of your attention because that is where you are looking.  Wow, that was illuminating.  Let's talk about a simple exercise that can make a big difference in the quality of your picture-taking.

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in their photos has to do with composition.  Usually putting too much in the picture.  Think of your images as literature.  One doesn't see the entire story on one page, it is broken down into pieces; chapters, paragraphs, sentences and words.

I took a creative writing class in college thinking that I was going to learn about writing stories, but noooooooooo, we were going to write poetry.  What an experience!  Not only did I learn a lot about effective creative writing, but I took those lessons on into life and they worked there too.  We would have to write a poem and then read it in class and let everyone and the professor critique it for us.  What a pleasant experience for a shy person such as myself. The Dog Whisperer seems to have the same cure for all of clients.....take the dog for walks.  My professor seemed to be cut from the same mold only instead of going for walks it was always, "Say it with fewer words".

Every time I'd write something I would reread it and ask myself, "What can I take out and have it still mean something?"  Now, do the same thing in your pictures.  What can you take out and still have the image say something?  In other words, get closer, move in, shift around, crop out that telephone pole.  This way the viewer's attention won't be jumping all over the place.  Let's refine it a bit more.

Look at the picture in this post.  Mentally draw a long tic-tac-toe game on top of it.  Look at the intersections.  Aha, there's a duck!  Guess what, that is where I wanted you to look.  From there your eye will naturally follow the intersections to the other points of interest.  Through this very simple process you can control what your viewers look at and what things you draw their attention away from.

Shift your position, direction of view, and other like things and you'll have new parts to your story.  After doing this long enough you'll begin to look at the world this way.  You'll see compositions all around you.  The world will be funner to look at.  Yes, I said funner.  This column will not always be politically or grammatically correct.

Scary times a'comin

Scary times are coming.  It's that season when people in all sorts of sizes show up at front doors asking for treats (even though they say, "trick or treat" most don't want to see Tyler do any tricks).  Since our house is essentially the only one on the block and there isn't a lot of light at night, most of these scary folks are too afraid to come to our door.  Rather than sit ignored at the side of the dancefloor we load up our furry friends and head uptown to sit on the front porch of our friends, Joann and Ralph, and watch them shell out thousands of pieces of candy.  Tyler and Tasha think that this is great entertainment as one of their favorite activities is sticking their heads into any bags they can get to in order to look for snacks of their own.  As I contemplated this activity I saw some parallels to some things in our society.

It doesn't seem as though we have any shortage of scary people coming around to raid our pantries.  Unlike Halloween where we can just turn out the lights or go away for the evening,  there isn't much we can do to get away from these monsters.  Health care/insurance is changing, no matter what happens to the current legislation there will be changes.  Some are already kicking in and others are down the road.  There is a distinct difference between issues of "health care" and "health insurance" and yet, discussions tend to refer to both of them as the same thing.

As I see it, how we reform health insurance (as though it was a kid gone bad) will impact and cause changes in health care.  Insurance is a funding method to pay for care.  Insurance, of any kind, in its' simplest form is nothing more than passing the burden of risk (or paying for the unwanted outcome of risk) on to someone else for a fee.  If you don't have insurance then you pay for the unwanted outcome.  There was a time when health insurance did not exist and, as a result, the people with money tended to have better health care.


Now we have insurance companies that will take on the risk of poor health and help pay for the care, thereby, making better health care available to those of lesser means.  Of course, if you happen to be of substantial lesser means then you are right back to less quality health care because you don't have the means to buy the insurance.  When we are in a situation where we are responsible for the outcome of our actions we tend to be a bit more conscientious about how we live.  In a way, you might say that having insurance is akin to having permission to not use good judgement.

I had these thoughts while walking the dogs this morning.  Tyler could not seem to make up his mind which side of the street he wanted to walk on and as a result we kept going back and forth.  In the end, he did a lot of sniffing and checking pee-mails, but never got down to business.  It gave rise to thoughts about all of the debates over what to do about health insurance reform.  We seem to keep going back and forth and nobody wants to talk straight out about the issues.

Insurance companies are businesses.  They exist to make profits the same as the corner bakery.  No imagine what would happen to a package of dinner rolls from that bakery if they were told that from now on each package would have 15 rolls instead of 12?  They would say, "Ok" and then charge you more per package.  That would make perfect sense.  They calculated the price they charge by adding up all of the costs to produce a roll, let's say 10 cents.  They want to make a profit of 20%, so they would sell a roll for 12 cents, covering their cost of 10 cents with 2 cents profit.  They sell their rolls in packages of a dozen for $1.44.

Now, they are told that they must have 15 rolls per package.  Ok, now you can pay $1.80 per package.  But, you say, "Wait a minute, you can't charge me more. I'm only going to pay $1.44 for this package".  This means that the bakery will have to sell their rolls for 9.6 cents each even though it costs them 10 cents.  How long will that bakery be in business at this rate?  An even better question might be how long will the bakery continue to make rolls?

If all of the bakeries realize that to produce rolls will not make any profit for the business, it's just a question of time before they also decide to quit making rolls.  If insurance companies are forced to provide specific benefits then they must find a way to provide those benefits and still make a profit.  Otherwise, there is no point in remaining in business.  One thing they might do is reduce how much they pay the health care providers for the benefits.

 Let's say the providers are required to take what they are paid.  Now. they have a profitability decision to make.  If they are paid less for the services they provide than it costs them to provide them then they have to find a way to reduce costs or stop doing what doesn't make money.

When you take long walks with dogs early in the morning you have plenty of quiet time to think through an issue or situation.  We all should look for some quiet time to open our minds to random thoughts.  You might be surprised what is trying to get in.

Opening Remarks

Welcome to Parker Horton's Place; a haven for introspection and thoughts on life, business, a quest for happiness or just peace and how much do my Shibas know that they are not telling me? I believe that we contain all of the answers we seek.  Finding a path to the answers is the challenge.  I use a few techniques that we will explore here at Parker Horton's Place.

Through this site you'll gain some insight to the daily life around here.  This is where I find those answers, in the everyday activities of life.   I'll share my techniques of knowledge seeking, answer quest, inner thought, free range thinking and strategic thinking.  See my approach to finding answers to complex problems in simple activities.  I'll take you through my discoveries each day and how they came about.

Sometimes I may get stuck and ask for your help to get things back on track.  I ask for help quite frequently.  You'll get daily doses of Shiba wisdom including pictures.  They really are a source of peace, stability, focus, breakthrough thoughts, love and amusement.  You will see a lot of them as I figure out how to use this technology.

I owe a great deal of gratitude to the books I've read over the years and conversations I've had with a wide variety of people.  I will list the books that have contributed to my thinking as they come to mind.  I'd appreciate your contributions to the list.  Actually putting a link to the book itself is becoming easier in this age of e-books.  I have a couple of book ideas that have been lurking in the back of my mind that may actually happen as e-books.

I don't think of myself as some sort of guru.  I'm an ordinary guy (my wife thinks I have a gift for insight) struggling with everyday problems and looking for answers.  I've been through some tough times and seem to come out ok, so maybe I'm doing something right.  This blog is another attempt at finding answers, through sharing with you.  About 35 years ago I did some tutoring in accounting.  By sharing my insights and learning techniques I was able to discover how much I knew, and it surprised me.

I have been fortunate to have learned some techniques from some very talented people around the country.  I'd like to give special thanks to Bob Esperti and Renno Peterson for helping me to see the value of insight.  I haven't seen them in almost 8 years, but I think of them and their teachings daily.  Perhaps I've mixed some together and made a new cake, I'm not the one to make that call; you are.

I hope that you will come by often and if you discover an "a ha" moment you'll let me know.